|
Apart
from the actual important and valuable information –
such as education requirements, place of work, rough
area of responsibilities etc., one reason some ads might
be somewhat undecipherable could be that the HR
department, probably in a wild attempt to prove that
they have studied a university, honestly, resorts to
terminology exclusive to the HR field which leaves the
average job-seeker flabbergasted. This or similar
internet glossaries might be of help when it comes to
actual technical terms:
http://www.jaluch.co.uk/hr-jargon.html.
One also comes across terms not so much technical as
standardized – or, more precisely, clichéd. Reading mere
ten ads will probably leave your head buzzing with
phrases like “proactive, dynamic personality”
(particularly saucy, show me one employer who actually
looks for a lazy git who doesn’t move a finger until
he’s told), game plan, forward thinking and other jewels
of the modern language. The advantage here is that with
a bit of practice and creativity, it can yield quite
some information – and possibly also entertainment. For
inspiration, enclosed is an enlightening quote from an
article by Ken Armitage from 1997 published at
instam.org:
"(Our client is a leading (in what area) and highly
successful organization (they hope to be), an autonomous
subsidiary (they might be sold off) of a major
international (offices in London, Bradford and perhaps
even the Channel Islands) company looking for a mature
individual (maybe up to 40) in order to broaden their
horizons (set up an office in Edinburgh) to optimize
growth opportunities (sales are sluggish). Having gone
through a process of reengineering (the company is in
turmoil) they are seeking to recruit (they went too far
in removing layers of management) a self-motivated
(there are no internal training programmes) and
ambitious (probably only up to 35) individual (you are
on your own) to develop (get out and sell) their
services.
As a skilled communicator (you can read and write), you
will support the organization (you will need to work
flat out) and be decisive in the management of change
(we have to downsize and re-structure even further). You
will develop and implement (we have no marketing
strategy) major areas of focus (we are myopic and have
lost direction) with full responsibility and
accountability (if you don't make it you are out) for
critical path analysis and progress (we definitely have
lost our way). On a personal level you must be an
ambitious self-starter (you are definitely on your own),
have a strong vision of the future (you are a cousin of
Mystic Meg), with the ability to explore and consolidate
new opportunities (you must be aggressive and will have
to chase business wherever possible).
First class communication and interpersonal skills (you
can read, write and talk), with the ability to influence
senior management (they cannot make up their mind) and
respond to rapidly changing circumstances (we definitely
have to downsize and delayer again and may go into
receivership if sales don't increase). Of graduate
calibre (? did you go to university or do you have
professional and practical experience) with
forward-looking ideas (you will need a crystal ball),
but with the ability to focus (look for short-term
solutions and profits) on immediate areas of interest
(critical concern). Salary is negotiable (but only on
their terms) but will relate to experience (you might
want £40,000 - £50,000 but we will pay you as little as
possible) and will include an attractive benefits
package (the previous manager’s motorcar)”.
And – careful with job titles. Again, it is a good idea
to take these with a grain of salt, applying for a Sales
Representative position might result in becoming a Shop
Assistant, the interesting title of Public Liaison
Representative could well be a position which in real
life sits in a small customer claims window in front of
a winding queue of enraged females. It is therefore
advisable to go through roles and responsibilities
described with a discerning eye. |
